


Dear Sirs

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012), The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Genre: Gen, epistolary? it's literally a cover letter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-21 17:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18145334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "So Halloweentown, etc, do exist in conjunction with the world in RotG. They can be an alternate universe accessible through those trees, they can be a fusion (Santa is North, etc.), or the Pole is Christmastown, the Warren is Eastertown or something, whatever writernon likes.After the events of Nightmare Before Christmas, Halloweentown is out a Boogeyman. Not that an awful lot of residents are complaining, but it turns out he is fairly necessary, since he’s in charge of the fear that keeps you safe. So they need another one.And, well… since they asked so nicely… who is Pitch to turn down an offer like that?Can take place pre- or post-RotG. Even during, if authornon thinks they can fit it in. Any ship is okay with me but please don’t sacrifice plot for it.Bonus: crossover ships.High Score: the line, “I am the shadow on the moon at night!”"This directly follows “A Proper Boogeyman in Halloweentown”. It’s also, well, a cover letter. I was more amused by the idea of Pitch applying for the position of Boogeyman rather than being asked to step into it.





	Dear Sirs

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 9/19/2014.

Dear Mr. Skellington and Mr. Mayor,  
  
I recently became aware that the position of Boogeyman in the realm of Halloweentown is currently empty due to an irreversible canon death. As this was part of the fulfillment of a narrative that resulted in both successful self-definition and the formation of a happy relationship, let me be the first to congratulate you, Mr. Skellington. However, based on my experience in such matters, I know it is highly undesirable for such an important role to remain unfilled for so long. Thus, I write to you today to express my interest in becoming the next Boogeyman of Halloweentown, and to inform you why I am the best being for this position.  
  
I have between one thousand and five billion years of experience as a Boogeyman–please do not let the date discrepancies alarm you. I am simply managing a case of canon multiplicity which, due to the nature of the uncanny having to do with repetitions with subtle and unnerving differences, makes me even more qualified to be your Boogeyman. Not in the way the pop song implies, of course, though I am certainly willing to sing at all appropriate moments. But I digress. I merely wish to say that I have been a Boogeyman on a timescale appropriate to the age of your realm.  
  
My practical skills include the manipulation of shadows, creating nightmares, changing dreams into nightmares, shadow transport, size shifting, immediate psychic access to individual’s greatest fears, and creating malevolent semi-sentient beings out of sand. However, I know that Halloweentown is not a home for evil, but rather spookiness, and I assure you my sand beings are easily directed into mischief rather than malfeasance. How could they not, when I’ve named them with a pun? Finally, in addition to all these clearly Boogeyman-related skills, I also dance, which, from the study of your realm, I gather might place me without question in the top candidate spot.  
  
As someone who has previously been known as the Nightmare King, it is my dearest wish that I will soon become known as the Boogeyman of Halloweentown. For my references, please ask any small child to request them in their letter to Santa specif. Nicholas St. North or to wish for them upon the star marked on the included chart. Words cannot express my eagerness to become a Boogeyman within a community of like-minded frighteners, and I truly thank you for even the opportunity to apply.  
  
If I do not hear from you beforehand, I will contact you during the next full moon as the eldritch, attenuated shadow on its surface.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Pitch Black  
  
***  
  
Pitch looked over the several bright orange leaves inscribed with nightmaresand. It wasn’t the most conventional writing material, but it would have to do. After all, he couldn’t risk spending so much time on it that he wouldn’t be able to deliver it before Oogie Boogie woke up and tried to recall Pitch to the task for which he had brought Pitch between realms in the first place. Reinstating  _him_  as the Boogeyman! As if!  
  
He read over the letter again. Perhaps he shouldn’t have included North and Sandy as references. But, then again, they weren’t fools, and surely they would know that this would get him out of their hair permanently.  
  
It would also leave room for something worse to get into their realm–no doubt without a cover letter or references–but that would, of course, be their problem. Pitch shrugged smiled, and dropped the leaves through the shadows to a tower-like building on the edge of town.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> blackstar307 reblogged this from gretchensinister and added: Yessssss
> 
> bowlingforgerbils said: I love this so much. :)
> 
> mira-eyeteeth said: ahjgfdgsdlfk omfg that sounds so much like the cover letters I’ve been writing (minus the shadow manipulation part) I’m dying
> 
> purplebloodedmajesty said: Pitch being willing to sing pop songs at the drop of a dime gives me life


End file.
